I really loved the message of this piece. It was a great idea to center a poem around, and I think the simplicity of the presentation really helps that message hit home.

The third line (just the word "then") felt a little out of place and jarring to read. I'm not sure of the creative intention of structuring like that, but I almost wonder if it would read more cleanly if it was just a three-line poem with the third and fourth lines combined.

Overall, I enjoyed the read and it's thought-provoking nature. Well done!