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Review #4746668
Viewing a review of:
Everywhere Open in new Window. [E]
Magic abounds
by Leger~SoGrateful Author Icon
Review of Everywhere  Open in new Window.
Review by Lornda Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



*Sun* I liked your story and enjoyed reading it! It put me right into a whimsical scene with a dragon and a girl. I thought the opening paragraph set the scene perfectly and grabbed my attention to keep reading. I had to laugh at the last line of the first paragraph. Always nice to add humor to any writing. I also liked the magical elements, which added to the fantasy aspect. For the limited word count, I think it told the whole story! *Stary*

*Sun* Good job on keeping this from the prospective of the dragon. I liked the phrasing a long the way to show the scene, like this line: ...shake her head like a wild creature and droplets would fly, catching the sun like crystals. Well done! At first, I wasn't sure if there would be dialog, but I was happy to see that they talked. It moved the story a long at a good pace.

*Sun* A couple of things I noticed for your consideration. I do understand the word count issue, but it would be great to expand on it. There were spots that would've benefited from more descriptions. I also thought the ending was quick, but again, I get why. Now that the contest is over, you can always start a novel now with the short story as a basis. Lol! I think it would be a beautiful fantasy story. *Wink*

*Swords* Lornda


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