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Review #3947156
Viewing a review of:
 Who am I supposed to be? Open in new Window. [E]
A sort of angst filled outlook on what it means to figure out who you are.
by HyperBookSnob Author Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Overall Impression


Hello HyperBookSnob Author Icon. Welcome to Writing.com! *Smile* My name is Elizabeth. I am here to give you a dose of R&R (Rate & Review).

Before I continue with it, I would like to let you know how to read my review. The opinions I express are only that. I am not here to attack you on a personal level. I offer these and the suggestions to help you on your writing journey. It is up to you to use any of the suggestions given. The "L" stands for "Line" and "S" stands for "Stanza." *Smile*

On to your poem we go. *Smile* I like it.

I understand it because I can relate. It was stressful for me during the time I was trying to figure out who I am. I would go between bouts of confusion and depression. It was a difficult thing to do. Change does not come easy to anyone in the first place. I experienced the array of emotions.


Stanza 1


L1: It...spinning.
*Starg* S1: Remove the period after "spinning." It is not needed here.

Stanza 2


L1: It...overwhelmed-
*Starg* S1: Change the hyphen to a period. It is a complete sentence.

L2: All...sensations
*Starg* S1: Use a hyphen after "sensations."

L3: Joy,...disaster.
*Starg* S1: Place a comma after "triumph." These emotions make a list.

Stanza 3


L2: Every...scream.
*Starg* S1: Remove "every" before "word" and "scream." You use it once at the beginning. The line will not lose its meaning without the other two.

Stanza 4


L2: broken...dream.
*Starg* S1: A comma needs to go after "promises." The combination of previous line and this one make a list.

L3: Like...am
*Starg* S1: Place a comma after "am."

Rating


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*

Other


*Starb* Keep punctuation consistent.

Keep up the great work. Write on! Again, welcome to WDC. *Smile*

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/27/2014 @ 10:06pm EST
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