The WDC NanoLounge

Don't know what the problem is. You're getting down on paper what happened and that is the most difficult part to create. You can rewrite every word later and what you're doing now is still hugely valuable to that effort.

Here's my suggestion. When you're in revisions, first read through, then decide which character or what local action would be best through which to show everything that you are currently telling. You have a detailed account to work with, and that will make a great framework to work against when the time comes.

In the mean time, keep writing!!
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Regards,
Eric Fretheim