Erotica Harem

This is not the first chapter I reviewed all those months, or years ago, though it does seem familiar. HI JOn! LOng time no see!

Title: Prince of the Sea,
Chapter 1
By: Jon

SEtting: Present day ATlanta, gym,-- I like the touches of history here, sicne ATlanta, like Tucson, is very rich in history.

Characters: a mysterious phoptographer snapping pictures of Jason as he goes to the gym to workout, one paragraph only but enough to chill your blood--why is he doing this and what part does this photograpehr play in the nastiness surroudniung Jason?

Jason: this young man is in a great deal of trouble it seems. Something he fell into himself and then perpetuated. His only option, to him, is to flee and disappear.

Plot: Jason has demons haunting him, soemthing to do with past actions and plans and schemes he himself participated in or set up. Now, to save his own life, he must run and hide. Lots of questions abound here. WAht did he do? Who was he involved with? Who is Carmine? The mysterious photographer following him around? Will he make it out of ATlanta alive? DArn, have to read more!

MHO In the interest of saving time, for both of us, I"m not copy/pasting jsut giving my general thoughts here. If I could write beginnings like this, I wouldnt agonize over how to open a story! Now, I ahve to go back and forth between this one and Max's story! Depsite the jolt fromt eh opening paragraph to the pov switch with Jason, I had no trouble following the flow of words. There's enough suspense to keep interest without giving the game away, and no violence as eyt, but I think Jason is either going to end up hurt, or end up dead--perhaps. I like it!

Pat

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One fateful Night, available from Publish America

Always A Warrior, available from New Concepts Publishing

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