Coffee Lounge

Itchy Water is right. This woman has been blasted by letters from people accusing her of child abuse. The news blasted her for weeks. Send it if it makes you feel heard and somehow better but know it will probably never be read and your sending it for you not for her.

I tried to stay out of that whole mess. It makes me angry. But, then I was angry this morning over some womans article on Yahoo about saying no to your kids. I rarely say no to my kids. But, most likely thats because I don't have to. My rule is if I can't find a reason better than, "Because I said so." They get to do it.

However they know better than to ask before considering the possiblity that what they want to do might break something. That breaking consisting of everything from someone elses feelings, to bones, to laws. :) Its amazing how just about every rule any parent has ever thought of can be summed up in Don't break it.

So, the kids think about if what they want to do will break something before they ask and they decide if the outcome of breaking something is worth doing what they want to do before asking permission. It keeps me from having to say no all the time and makes them think for themselves.

I must admit Im not much of a pusher though. I do agree with the premise that accomplishing something hard makes you feel better about yourself. But, can you really say you accomplished it if, you have a parent pushing you to do it? I encourage my children to try everything from Martial Arts to nanowrimo. But, I never pushed. If they succeed its because they pushed themselves. External motivation only gets you so far in life. My mother pushed me until I thought my head would explode and where am I now? Im a stay at home mom, of 6 who has yet to do anything with her life but raise babies.

My children are self motivated. When they decide not to do something, its because I have taught them to ask themselves... How badly do I want what I want? Is it worth sacrificing for? Only they can decide yes or no on that. If they want it badly enough... I won't have to push. If I have to push then it's not worth doing because they don't want it badly enough.